’Til Love Do Us Part
As with the beginning of countless classic romantic comedies, Jessica and I realized from the start that ours was far from a match made in romantic partner heaven.
She had a prestigious, high-paying executive job; I was a writer constantly scrambling for work. She lived in a beautiful home in the Hollywood Hills, with a swimming pool and luxury car; I drove a used Ford Taurus and got a break on my humble Fairfax District’s apartment’s rent by doing assorted managerial tasks. Her knowledge of French champagnes and wines was second only to mine of the varieties of chips at the 3rd and La Brea Trader Joe’s. While she loved having deep discussions about weighty topics, theater, opera, and sharing innermost thoughts and feelings, I was more into popular culture and keeping things light, comedic and on the surface.
Jessica proposed that since we were so different, and obviously not one another’s soul mates, but were attracted to each other nonetheless, why not love the one we’re with — date each other regularly while we continued searching for our closer matches? And as soon as one of us met someone who was a better match, we’d inform the other so as to end our arrangement. The only unknowns would be how long we would last together and which of us would end it. But until then, Friends With Benefits while looking for one’s soul mate? Suggested by the woman in the relationship? Where do I sign?
About nine months into my relationship with Jessica, I found such a connection with Sarah, who even laughed out loud and frequently at my jokes, which of course is catnip for any man, especially a comedy writer. While my relationship with Jessica was pleasant, secure, and affectionate, the one with Sarah awakened my heart and energized my soul. There was real connection and heat.
I envisioned informing Jessica about Sarah, and Jessica responding, “Oh, thank god. This makes it that much easier for me to let you know about my budding relationship with Don, whom I met in my UCLA Extension ‘Advanced Survey of French Champagnes’ seminar.”
What I never anticipated was Jessica’s response when I told her: tears. I was stunned to discover that Jessica did not want me to leave. She was not dating anyone, nor had she even been looking to date anyone while we were together. Apparently, she had grown to love me and wanted me to stay.
I reminded her of our special agreement, which was the whole initial reason for us both having agreed to our dating arrangement, and, which I added, was her suggestion in the first place.
And then, Jessica surprised me again by sweetening the deal. She told me she had visions of us living together as a couple, travelling the world. She’d pay for everything and support my writing career. I could forget worrying about bills or a day job.
Oh, man! One woman tempts me with passion and laughter; the other with life-long financial security and international travel. Isn’t there some mad scientist who could breed them together and create one cloned woman who had it all — a financially secure, passionate, emotional laugher? Paging Dr. Frankenstein!
I had visions of my future life with Jessica. We’d be in some charming little flat in Paris. I’d be working on my Great American Novel while she read the works of Victor Hugo on the sofa. Occasionally, I’d look out the window at the moon coming up over the Eiffel Tower. Off in the distance, a street musician played “La Vie en Rose” on the accordion. We’d wander down to dinner at one of Paris’s intriguing cafes in the Latin Quarter. Jessica would teach me about Pinot Noirs and adjust my beret to the perfect angle. As we enjoyed our four-star meal, we’d plan our next vacation to Rome. Rent? Job search? Credit card late payment fees? Things of the past! My main job would be to love Jessica. It didn’t take a genius to see the appeal.
Visions of my future life with Sarah appeared next. Earning a living would be a challenge for both of us. We’d travel and take trips, but they’d mostly be in the Los Angeles area, and if we did go abroad, our lodging and dining choices would certainly not be at the same level as those with Jessica. I could still be a writer, but the writing would have to be done at night and on weekends, wedged in around my day job to pay the bills. And yet, there was no denying that with Sarah, I’d have what I wanted even more than financial security and luxurious European trips — non-stop, passionate, full-throttle love and laughter. And there it was. I decided that those were the things I didn’t want to live without, couldn’t live without.
Do I have regrets these days? Honestly, yes, from time to time. Especially when things get tight financially. But those regrets become short-lived when I consider Sarah’s priceless laughter, love, and passion. At any income level, that’s the only kind of match made in true romantic partner heaven. Cue “La Vie en Rose” as Sarah and I slow dance under a streetlight, and she adjusts my Canter’s Deli baseball cap to the perfect angle, in the romantic Fairfax District of Los Angeles.
